And Hilarious Ways to Answer Them!
Have you ever noticed that even the most intelligent seeming humans are capable of asking homeschooled teens extremely annoying questions about homeschooling? Although I am always too polite to be snide, the following answers always run through my mind when I hear the following questions:
Do your parents make you homeschool?
*Yes, they do. In my heart of hearts, I really *want* to spend 6 hours a day in a stuffy classroom filled with stupid people, listening to a rude and irrational teacher rant incessantly.
Do you have any friends?
*No, I’m a misanthrope sociopath who would rather die a thousand deaths than be socialized normally.
How do you meet people?
*I have found that painting myself blue and running through the streets screaming is a very effective way to meet people.
Do you get graded?
*Grades are determined each semester by a coin toss.
How do you know what to do without a teacher telling you?
*I visit the library and pick books at random. Those books then become my curriculum for that semester. Last semester, I studied alternative physics, macrame, tomato growing, and plot flaws in Star Trek the Next Generation episodes.
How do you remember to work without a teacher nagging you?
*I bribe myself. Whenever I finish a homework assignment, I give myself a gold star or a cookie.
Is homeschooling legal?
*No. In fact, you could even be arrested for aiding and abetting a criminal just by talking to me! Or …….
*Yes. The government wants as many of us smart-aleck, self motivating brats out of their high schools as possible.
Do you like homeschooling?
*Not particularly. I tolerate homeschooling only because the alternative is so horrendous.
Are you going to homeschool your kids?
*Certainly! In fact, my children will undergo an accelerated education, so that they are ready for college classes by the age of 10.
You must be pretty smart to homeschool, huh?
*Actually, my intelligence level is below normal. I have simply acquired an immense vocabulary through memorization, which often fools humans into believing that I am more intelligent than I actually am.