Posts Tagged ‘ joke ’
Reasons to Homeschool! Get a larger, printable poster. 3.6 MB, 300 dpi, and it fits on an 8.5″ x 11″ piece of paper. I suggest that you right click on this second image, and paste into Photoshop or other photo processing application, setting the new image resolution to 300 dpi (or whatever resolution...
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When you hear the toilet flush and the words uh oh, it's already too late. Homeschooling boys is full of fun times!
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by Rebecca Prewett Recently I attended a state homeschooling convention. At least half the women there were wearing denim jumpers and had lots of children with them. If I decide to homeschool, will I need to buy a denim jumper and triple my family size? Well, it depends. Some homeschoolers like to be nonconformists....
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You know you are A Homeschool Mom when you never have to face the dilemma of whether to take your child's side or the teacher's side in a dispute at school.
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On the Revelation of His Gambling Habit by Calvin Trillin Bill Bennett told a grateful nation, ‘Be moral. Just resist temptation.’ By windbag airing of this thesis, Bill Bennett got as rich as Croesus. His preaching sold in wholesale lots, While he dropped millions at the slots. But here’s a thought to ease his...
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Can listen to the same knock-knock joke 27 times without hollering “Nobody’s Home.” Will be a Scrabble partner with a kid who thinks “cookie” begins with “k.” Will unwind 56 feet of toilet paper so her little darling Can have the empty roll…to make a Mother’s Day present. Knows the location of every drive-through...
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Top 10 Answers You Should NEVER Give to the Question “What?! No School Today?” 10. Well normally yes, but this time of year I need help with the planting and plowing. 9. Goodness, no!!! I graduated 18 years ago, but thanks for the compliment! 8. No, we homeschool. We’re just out to pick up...
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Top 10 Socialization Homeschooling Responses by Pam Hartley 10. We’re training him to like isolation so that he can be an astronaut. 9. Socialization? We’re Republicans! 8. Don’t worry. We get together with other kids twice a week so he can learn how to spit on them and treat them disrespectfully. 7. We do Unit Studies on Socialization, and also Hair Washing, Clothes Folding,...
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Two women meet at a playground, where their children are swinging and playing ball. The women are sitting on a bench watching. Eventually, they begin to talk. W1: Hi. My name is Maggie. My kids are the three in red shirts –helps me keep track of them. W2: (Smiles) I’m Patty. Mine are in...
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Tired of questions/comments about why you’re distinctly NOT starting school this week? Yearn to relate to the kids down the road? Here are a few suggestions: Count to ten in garbled Pig Latin. Wax poetic. Wax the floor and then slip around in your socks. Dangle a participle or two. See how many sentences...
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Have you ever noticed that even the most intelligent seeming humans are capable of asking extremely annoying questions about homeschooling? Although I am always too polite to be snide, the following answers always run through my mind when I hear the following questions. Joke from your Homeschooling Guide, Ann Zeise.
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When…. You’re the life of the party, even when it lasts until 8 p.m. You’re very good at opening child proof caps with a hammer. You’re usually interested in going home before you get to where you’re going. You’re good on a trip for at least an hour without aspirin. You’re the first one...
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“How many home educators does it take to change a light bulb?” Answer: “Estimates vary…….no-one really knows……” “I really don’t know who it should be attributed to. It came from a Richard on the UK HOME EDUCATION SUPPORT LIST, who heard it at a home ed conference. If such things can be freely shared...
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Things I’ve picked up over the years; 1. It’s more fun to color outside the lines. 2. If you’re gonna draw on the wall, do it behind the couch. 3. Ask why until you understand. 4. Hang on tight. 5. Even if you’ve been fishing for 3 hours and haven’t gotten anything except poison ivy and a sunburn, you’re still...
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Methods of Changing a Lightbulb; Homeschool Style. First, mom checks three books on electricity out of the library, then the kids make models of light bulbs, read a biography of Thomas Edison and do a skit based on his life. Next, everyone studies the history of lighting methods, wrapping up with dipping their own candles. Next, everyone takes a...
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Real Homeschool Mothers don’t eat quiche; they don’t have time to make it. Real Homeschool Mothers know that their kitchen utensils are probably in the sandbox. Real Homeschool Mothers often have sticky floors, filthy ovens, and happy kids. Real Homeschool Mothers know that dried playdough doesn’t come out of shag carpet. Real Homeschool Mothers don’t want to know what the vacuum just sucked up. Real Homeschool Mothers sometimes...
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You get to change more than diapers, you get to change their minds.
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Mom Writes To Son Away At College Dear Son, I’m writing this slow ’cause I know you can’t read fast. We don’t live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within twenty miles of home … so we moved. I won’t be able to send...
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To the tune of “Twelve Days of Christmas.” On the first day of homeschool my neighbor said to me, “Can you homeschool legally?” On the second day of homeschool my neighbor said to me, “Are they socialized, can you homeschool legally?” On the third day of homeschool my neighbor said to me, “Do...
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The following letters were taken from an actual incident during a homeschooling conference. (Actually from Shelley Berman, who I just adore! Thank you, Shelley, for permission to replicate this anecdote on my site.) Dear Maid, Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized...
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